I am a bit shaken up by an interesting situation that took place two days ago. I am probably more shaken up by my response to it.
I was just about to park my car at home at lunch-time, when I saw a rabari-style clothed person walking on the road close to my home. He had a child, presumably his son, on his shoulders. Based on the way he walked, I judged that he is a beggar, and will ask me for money should he encounter me as I got off the car. Not wanting to be approached, I didn't drive in, but drove around the block and returned from the next intersection, just so he may pass by my house.
As I drove past him, I observed that he didn't quite seem to be a beggar. His son had worn a smart school uniform, yellow shirt and grey shorts (yes, I can't even remember what I wore yesterday, but I can't forget this image) and had a bag on his back. I observed that the father was walking oddly (thereby leading me to judge him as a beggar) because he seemed to be trying to entertain his son. The two seemed to be having a good time as they walked in the afternoon heat.
I immediately felt guilty for being biased about a fellow human being. But my fault and guilt didn't end there. I felt bad about being who I am, having the ability to drive home in an air-conditioned car for lunch. I felt pathetic being possessive about "my" financial resources, which in reality I can claim only by virtue of being born in a reasonably gifted family - even whatever I may claim to have earned on basis of my "abilities" or "skills" is similar, for I could gain those qualities only because I was gifted a platform by birth. Yet I was selfish enough to try to outsmart someone deserving from having a small fraction of those gifts, of which I must be at most, a trustee.
I realized the supposedly obvious fact that the love of parent and child transcends all sections of the society. There is not enough love in our world, and if we want some of it, we must nurture what exists around us. I had the power (try to see the term beyond my arrogance) - the power to be nice to the duo, respect their love with a smile, and even help should the gentleman actually be a beggar. I was clearly more gifted than the duo, and no excuse can justify my refusal to make a small act of kindness.
I think the lore of God appearing as an underprivileged human to test our character is common in the scriptures of all major religions. God probably appeared as the duo to test me, or better yet, to suggest an improvement, a return to the values that I should cherish, so I may enjoy this life better.
I see good analogy of money in "The Ring" of Lord of the Rings - we somehow seem to increasingly resemble the pitiable-yet-greedy Gollum, losing our health and mind and happiness over what we term "my precious". We scheme, we don't love, even as we want love. We hide and protect the resources given as a platform to pursue efforts to further beautify the world. We find reasons to doubt and feel insecure about people around us thanks to money - when God actually places them around us to give and seek love and joy.
I hope this public confession will help my realizations last beyond these couple days, and drive me to be a better human being.
